Torchwood/SGA: A Holiday Humour

[janne-d.livejournal.com]

Story Title: A Holiday Humour
Author Name/LJ: janne_d
Crossover Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack Harkness/John Sheppard (minor Sheppard/McKay)
Summary: John Sheppard finds himself in Cardiff and ends up having a very interesting and fun time with a certain Captain...
Notes: Written because I couldn't resist putting two guys that gorgeous together. Big thank yous to my beta torakowalski

Crossposted to my lj, torch_wood and sga_noticeboard.


A Holiday Humour


John dumped his bag on the hotel room floor and flopped down on the bed with a sigh. The SGC had started insisting that the Atlantis command staff actually take vacations like normal people, and despite the fact that none of them were exactly normal anymore and that most of them didn’t want to leave Atlantis for more than a few days at a time – which was probably part of what the SGC counted as abnormal, come to think of it – they hadn’t been able to find a way out and it was finally John’s turn.

He supposed it was good that the SGC didn’t want them to burn out, but John would much rather be home. He’d hung around Cheyenne Mountain for a couple of days until General O’Neill had found him in the commissary and thrown him out saying that “vacation means being somewhere that isn’t your work, Sheppard. Now get,” and had added that the guards had instructions not to let him back in for at least a fortnight.

So John had got. He hadn’t been able to think of anywhere he wanted to be, so he’d just gone to the airport and bought a ticket at random, and then kept going between aeroplanes and hotels until he’d ended up here. In… where was he again? He grabbed the leaflets off the bedside table to check.

Right, Cardiff. In Wales, a country that was not part of England and judging from the tetchy look he’d got from the desk clerk doing anything to suggest otherwise was like saying Canada was in the United States, i.e. a really bad idea.

John thought about going and finding food or checking the place out, but he didn’t have the energy to move so he turned on the TV instead and ended up watching a rugby game and wincing a lot, because it was like football done as a blood sport. Plus he was pretty sure some of the players had thighs that were bigger than his waist, and that was just wrong. When the programme was over, John gave up trying to fight his jetlag and went to bed even though it was still daytime. He could explore tomorrow.

~

Unfortunately John slept far longer than he meant to so it was early evening before he managed to get out of the hotel. Exploring would have to wait.

He ate a nice breakfast/dinner and then wandered through the city, ending up in a modern plaza with a shiny-looking building that had a poem written on it and a really cool metal fountain. He liked the quote about the horizons singing too. It was a nice open space so John hung out for a while and people-watched, leaning against a pillar opposite the fountain and sipping the coffee he’d picked up in a little shop.

The building with the quotes seemed to be some kind of concert hall because after a bit lots of people in smart clothes started converging on the doors. It was funny though. The people who walked past the base of the fountain all swerved at the same point and John couldn’t work out why because all they seemed to be avoiding was another flagstone. There were nearly a couple of collisions from people not stepping on it and it was just weird because so far John had counted thirty-one people who inexplicably dodged to the side.

Now John was curious. He had to check this out.

He waited until the last few stragglers had gone through the plaza, threw his coffee cup in a trashcan and wandered cautiously over to the fountain, crouching down and studying what he was now calling “the forbidden stone” carefully. It looked perfectly normal and he still couldn’t understand why all those people had refused to step on it. John stood up, shrugged and stepped forward.

He didn’t get hit by lightning, like he’d half expected. In fact, nothing happened at all and John frowned in disappointment. He bounced on his heels a couple of times to see if the stone felt any different, but it was just a stone and John was about to give up on the mystery swerving when it suddenly started to move down and he flailed his arms for balance with a yelp.

It was an elevator?

John briefly considered jumping back on to level ground before he dropped too far, but this was just getting interesting so after a tiny hesitation he decided to see what happened next. Though he was starting to wish he’d been able to bring his firearm on his travels, because that would be nice and comforting about now.

The stone didn’t move down a shaft, just slowly descended into a large room. John could see the base of the fountain rising up from a pool and some desks that looked remarkably like Rodney’s in the middle of a project, covered in files and strange bits of technology, and a really heavy-duty looking airlock-type door.

Oh yeah, and the four people pointing guns at him.

John sighed and raised his hands as the stone reached the bottom and stopped.

“Step off the lift right now,” one of the men said. John stepped and watched them all twitch and readjust their aims. Weird.

“I have got to stop stumbling on people’s secret underground lairs,” he said resignedly. He really had been trying to have a holiday and this was not his fault.

The meaner looking guy had just been opening his mouth, presumably to start yelling, but at John’s comment he closed it again and gave John a suspicious look. “What?”

“Is that the kind of thing you do often?” the guy in the suit said, with the same accent as the hotel clerk. He even sounded polite.

“Well, I don’t do it on purpose,” John said, trying to keep them talking and confused instead of shooting, “and in my defence, it’s not like your handy stone elevator here has any security measures on it.”

“Actually it does,” the petite Japanese woman said with a frown.

“How did you activate it?” the other woman said, a pretty brunette with the same lilt to her voice that John was learning meant Welsh.

“He didn’t,” a fifth voice said, “I did,” and John twisted to see a good-looking dark-haired man walking down the stairs towards them in shirtsleeves and braces, and he was surprised again because this guy sounded American. John knew right away this was the leader here, and he might have his hands tucked in his trouser pockets, but he was definitely the most dangerous, with sharp eyes that evaluated John as quickly as John had sized him up.

“Jack,” at least two of the others cried disapprovingly.

“What did you do that for?” the mean guy said.

“Well, when a cute guy wanders straight over to our perception filter hidden elevator and starts prodding and bouncing on it, I get a little curious,” Jack shrugged. “Captain Jack Harkness,” he went on with a blinding grin at John. “And you are?”

“Lt Colonel Sheppard, USAF,” John answered automatically, a little thrown by the cute comment. He hadn’t meant to give so much away until he knew more, but on the other hand they now knew him disappearing wouldn’t go uninvestigated.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Jack said still smiling and John smiled back involuntarily. Maybe this would go well. He wasn’t getting a violent vibe off the gun-pointers – they seemed more surprised than anything else – and this Jack guy in particular came off as intrigued rather than pissed.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” the mean guy said in disgust. “Only you would let someone into a secret base because they’re cute,” he continued, waving the gun about in irritation and John winced.

“Um, could you not do that?” he said, nodding towards the gun.

“Owen, guys, put the guns away okay?” Jack agreed and John relaxed and brought his hands down in relief as the others sighed and stopped pointing them at him.

“How could you see the stone?” the Japanese woman asked John and John shrugged.

“I’m more interested in why everyone else apparently couldn’t,” he replied. “Seems like your perception thingy may be a bit dodgy.”

He started to step away from the stone in response to a gesture from Jack and ducked instinctively as something swooped overhead. John looked up in time to see it land on a beam and then back to Jack in glee. “You have a pterodactyl? That’s so cool,” he said grinning. How had they managed that, did they have a stargate in Wales? Was there a dinosaur planet in the Milky Way too?

“I’ve always thought so,” Jack said looking pleased.

“You know, most people are shocked and alarmed by Myfanwy,” the Welsh guy commented quietly, “or at least slightly more surprised.”

“I don’t think Colonel Sheppard is most people, Ianto,” Jack replied sounding amused and John shifted self-consciously at the appreciative look Jack gave him, because it made the comment sound a lot more significant.

Was Jack flirting with him? No, that was stupid, he was being friendly and that was a good thing considering John had just wandered into his underground lair.

Owen gave them all an exasperated look. “As fun as this bonding is, we still apparently have a huge security breach that we should maybe be dealing with?” he said pointedly. “What the hell are we going to do with Lt Colonel Bouncy here?” and John stopped craning his neck to watch the pterodactyl, feeling a little embarrassed as the women and Jack smiled at him.

“Actually, I think I can clear things up with just one question,” Jack said. “Would your current assignment happen to be with the SGC?” and John gaped at him.

“What… how did you…?”

“Oh, he’s one of them,” Owen said, shaking his head as the little Japanese woman squeaked excitedly and rushed off towards her desk.

“One of who?” the brunette asked curiously.

“I’ll explain later, Gwen,” Jack said. “You guys get back to work now.”

The Welsh guy, Ianto, said something about making coffee and he, Owen and Gwen wandered off towards the desks while John stared at Jack.

“Who the hell are you people?” John finally asked in wonder, but they were interrupted by the Japanese woman jogging back over with something in her hand.

“Tosh?” Jack asked.

“Colonel Sheppard,” she said breathlessly, “can you tell me anything about this? It’s obviously Ancient but we can’t make it work, but if we could just find out what it’s for, and since you have the gene…”

John was going to back away because he’d learned plenty of lessons about unidentified Ancient objects on Atlantis and he certainly wasn’t going to activate anything that was remotely powerful without knowing who these people were, but then he recognised the little bumpy dome and reached out to take it from her instead. Plus he was beginning to think he was actually still in the hotel and dreaming; seriously, what were the chances in real life of finding an invisible lift into a secret bunker that had a pterodactyl and was full of people who knew all about the stargates?

“Sure,” he said and turned it on, making gentle multicoloured patterns appear in the air around his hand. “It’s a nightlight.” Tosh blinked in bemusement as she took it back and Jack started laughing at John’s side.

“John Sheppard,” he said looking delighted, and John was surprised all over again, because he hadn’t told him his first name. “Welcome to Torchwood,” and then he shouted, “Hey, Owen. We found what the device does.”

“What?”

“It’s a nightlight,” Jack shouted back, starting to laugh again.

“Fucking piece of shit!” Owen yelled, and Jack shrugged at John’s raised eyebrow.

“He lost the bet,” he explained and John nodded understandingly, and smirked a little. They had bets like that on Atlantis too, though the tenth time in a row John had won Rodney had banned him for having an unfair genetic advantage and demanded his Oreos back.

“Ooh, that’s pretty,” Gwen said, looking over Tosh’s shoulder.

“Yes,” Tosh said after a minute, looking up at John. “It is pretty. Thank you, Colonel,” and John shrugged in response as she smiled at him and went back to her desk with Gwen.

“I’m grateful too,” Jack said, “You’ve improved my day no end,” he went on, leaning on the wall just a little too close to John and giving him that Hollywood grin again. “I mean, first you enhance the view of the Plass so nicely, then you get all interestingly perceptive on my doorstep and now this, and here I was thinking it was going to be just another boring day. I think I’ll have to do something very nice to repay you,” he said, tilting his head and John swallowed and made himself look around the base again instead of staring back into Jack’s eyes.

He really was flirting with John. Geez, Jack was… well, he was like Rodney thought John was. Which just proved that Rodney was delusional because John was nowhere near this smooth. Of course, it also kind of disproved John’s dream theory, because he was fairly sure his subconscious could never have come up with Captain Jack Harkness by itself.

“Well,” John said, clearing his throat and trying not to think that Jack had really nice eyes, sort of bluey-green, “you could start by telling me what Torchwood is, how you know about the SGC and how you know my name. Or are you just going to keep bamboozling me with dinosaurs and devices until I give up and go mad?”

“Those are my only two options?” Jack said with a teasing note. “I’m sure I can do better than that,” and John tried not to flush at the way Jack was looking at him. “Come on, we’ll use my office,” Jack said moving off, and John followed him feeling more off-balance than he could really blame on the jetlag. He pinched his arm surreptitiously just in case, but despite the surreal edge it seemed he was awake after all.

Jack’s office was cool, and John needed to talk Elizabeth into letting him have a Space Invaders console outside his door too. Jack grabbed John a seat, then pulled his own out so that the desk wasn’t between them anymore and stuck his legs out when he sat so that John’s were between his and the desk, and John sat up straighter than he normally did and pretended he was as relaxed as Jack looked.

“So, Torchwood,” Jack started, leaning back, and then Ianto arrived with two cups of coffee. “Oh thanks,” Jack said taking one and Ianto handed the other to John.

“Black, right?” he asked and John nodded.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks,” he said and Ianto smiled acknowledgement and left again as John looked back at Jack. “You guys know how I take my coffee too?” he asked plaintively, and to be honest, after everything else it wouldn’t surprise him.

“Oh, that’s just Ianto,” Jack said, waving a hand and taking a sip. “He claims he can tell how a person likes their coffee just by looking at them, and I don’t think he’s got it wrong yet.”

John lifted his cup, inhaling the smell in pleasure but hesitated in a sudden rush of paranoia before drinking any. Jack might seem like a good guy, but John still didn’t know what the set-up was here or how they knew so much, and just because he felt like he could trust Jack didn’t mean it was true.

“Hey,” Jack said after a few seconds. “We’re not going to drug you,” and John pulled a sheepish face at being caught, feeling a bit foolish. “Okay, normally I’d be slipping you a nice little amnesia pill about now,” Jack went on and John sat up warily feeling much less foolish, “but since we’re in the same line of work and you already know about alien lifeforms, I don’t really see the point. And trust me: you don’t want to miss out on Ianto’s coffee-making skills. The man’s a genius.”

“Right,” John said dubiously.

“You’re safe here. Scout’s honour,” Jack said earnestly, looking the most serious he’d managed since John had arrived.

“There’s no way you were a boy scout,” John muttered and Jack heard him and grinned again.

“Well, no. But I slept with a Scout Master once. He had some really interesting uses for his woggle,” he said waggling his eyebrows and John blinked, wondered if he’d heard that right, felt his ears go red and ended up drinking anyway in his distraction.

“Wow,” he said after he’d swallowed. It was just as well Rodney wasn’t here or he’d already have been out the door and on his knees begging Ianto to come to Atlantis, and possibly to marry him as well. Jack gave him a ‘told you so’ look and John decided that since he’d already drunk some he might as well keep going. “What do you mean the same line of work? Do you study the Ancients too?”

“Not exclusively,” Jack said. “Torchwood was founded by Queen Victoria to defend the British Empire from extraterrestrial threats and we also study the technology we come across. The unofficial motto is ‘If it’s alien, it’s ours’ but frankly you guys are welcome to the Goa’uld and the Wraith and there aren’t any Ancient sites round here, so we just get the occasional piece.”

“Wait a minute,” John said, setting his cup on the desk. “You know about the Wraith? How?”

“The Wraith, the stargates, the Goa’uld and the Ori,” Jack confirmed. “We don’t work much with the SGC directly, but we sometimes consult each other and they keep us and UNIT up-to-date on the big threats because sometimes we have resources you guys don’t.”

“So is that how you know about me?” John asked.

“Nope. Tosh is friendly with some of the Antarctica-based team, and you know how scientists gossip. I have to say, the description she got didn’t do you justice,” Jack said with a wink and John picked up his cup again for something to play with. “They asked her to go on the expedition to Atlantis actually,” Jack added casually, “but she didn’t like the sound of it. Hey, if things had worked out differently, we could have swapped scientists, you know.”

“Huh?”

“I spent a couple of years trying to get Rodney McKay to join us,” Jack said, “but he always said Wales had too many sheep and too much rain,” and John stared at him in surprise, trying to imagine an Atlantis without Rodney. That just wouldn’t have been right at all. He wondered what Rodney had made of Jack as well, and whether Jack had flirted this much with him. He’d have to ask when he got back because Rodney would either rant or get flustered and either would be entertaining.

“Uh, right, so Torchwood works with alien things and collaborates with the SGC?” John said, getting back on track, and Jack nodded. “And you’re not plotting something nefarious or trying to rule the world or the galaxy or basically being any type of James Bond-style villain?” he asked and Jack shook his head, stifling a smile.

“I realise the underground lair plus dinosaur looks suspiciously Bond bad guy, but no. We’re just trying to keep people safe and learn things.”

“Okay, so you won’t mind if I make a phone call just to confirm that?” John said.

Jack simply gestured accommodatingly to his desk phone and a few minutes later John was being put through to General O’Neill.

“Sheppard, I thought I told you to go on holiday,” O’Neill said.

“I did, sir. I’m in Wales. In Britain,” John added.

“I know where Wales is, Colonel, now is there a reason you’re calling me during your vacation or did you just want to keep me up-to-date on world geography?”

“Well, sir,” John started but O’Neill interrupted.

“Wait, crap, crap. You’re in Cardiff, aren’t you?”

“Yes sir.”

O’Neill groaned. “Don’t tell me, you’ve run into a guy called Captain Jack Harkness, right?”

“That’s who he says he is,” John agreed, feeling relieved that O’Neill had heard of him.

“Black hair, blue eyes, looks like he should be sweeping a heroine off her feet, grin like…like… damn it, I can’t think of anything that doesn’t sound like innuendo, because he makes everything sound like innuendo. Even hello. Especially hello.”

“That’s, uh, a really good description, sir,” John agreed and Jack grinned at him, raising his eyebrows. “So Torchwood does consult with the SGC, then? I mean they seem to know a lot about us sir,” John said, getting to the important question of whether Jack was on the up-and-up or not.

“When we can’t avoid it, yes. Don’t worry about it Sheppard,” O’Neill said with a sigh. “Jack ruffles the feathers of the command types a lot, mostly on purpose, but he’s one of the good guys. We think. But we gave in and gave him clearance anyway, mainly because he always seemed to know everything whether we told him or not.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Oh, and tell him to stop trying to steal our scientists.”

“Will do, sir.”

“And Sheppard? He’s not allowed to steal you either. Good luck,” O’Neill said, and hung up.

“That sounded interesting,” Jack said.

“General O’Neill says you’re to stop trying to steal our scientists,” John informed him and Jack smirked.

“Where’s the fun in that? Beside, I’m sure I can offer them much better incentives than the SGC. A cool lair for starters, then there’s Ianto’s coffee, we don’t have to answer to any committees like you guys, we have just as many shiny toys, and I’m a very flexible boss,” Jack said. “Think how much more fun you could have under me.”

John looked at Jack’s mischievous eyes and thought about O’Neill’s parting comment, and then he thought about “flexible” and “under me” and decided he’d be safer not touching that remark with a ten foot pole. And he’d like to stop thinking those things because it was a little unnerving coupled with the way Jack was looking at him, so a change in topic seemed in order.

“Why did you let me in?” John asked. “You didn’t know who I was then, and I’m guessing from your amnesia pills comment that you guys aren’t common knowledge any more than we are.” He couldn’t quite believe that anyone would compromise their base because they thought someone was… well, for the reason that Jack gave earlier, despite his manner.

“I was curious,” Jack shrugged. “The perception filter on the lift stops most people from being aware of its existence. They don’t really see it, if you stand there and shout they don’t really hear you, and as you spotted, they avoid it instinctively because it’s like a little square of not-there. Even most of the team can’t perceive it,” he went on, waving towards the other workstations, “but since we know where and what it is, we can use it.”

“But I could see it fine,” John said.

“Exactly,” Jack said, pointing at him. “The exceptions to the rule are certain types of aliens and people with experience of mentally connecting with advanced technology, and anything that advanced is not from around here. And either way, I wanted to meet you.”

“To find out which it was,” John agreed, “And whether I was a threat, right?”

“Right,” Jack said. “And the fact that the leather jacket is a really good look on you may also have been a factor,” he added and John blinked, because he just couldn’t get a handle on Jack at all.

He was completely certain that if he had turned out to be a threat, Jack would have had no second thoughts about neutralising him, though he wasn’t sure why he knew Jack could be that ruthless – just something in his eyes when John had arrived and just now when John had suggested it – but he was also sure that Jack meant what he’d just said, and that if Jack hadn’t wanted to flirt with him, John might not have got in the base. Jack had flirted with John before he knew who John was and seemed to mean that too, even while John had still been a potential threat.

John wasn’t sure what it said about Jack’s brain that he could be sincere about both things at once, but it was confusing the hell out of him.

He also wasn’t sure just how seriously Jack meant the flirting. A lot of things he said seemed like he was just teasing, playing with no real intent but the way he looked at John… Well, it wasn’t playing. Jack was blatant in his appreciation and John had never had that from a guy before. Oh, he’d had been hit on by other men once or twice. Maybe more, because John wasn’t exactly quick at noticing women coming onto him and most guys were more subtle about it so he wasn’t always sure if he had been or not.

There was really no way he could miss it with Jack, who flirted like it was breathing and made John feel completely… flustered was really the only word. The thing about being hit on subtly, or not being sure if you were being hit on, was it made it easy to just ignore it and act like normal and John couldn’t do that with Jack. And he couldn’t fall back on what Rodney called his “charm-the-natives” way of interacting like he usually did when he was uncertain because Jack was so much better at it than John was.

But every time John had got really off-kilter trying to work out how to react, Jack had backed off a little. Like now, when he gave John a surprisingly sweet smile and started telling him about one of the times Torchwood had got involved with the SGC. A story that apparently involved a not-Ancient-at-all device, an alien language where the definitive article was pronounced “fuck”, and ended with some visiting aliens who looked like large pompoms with eyes and communicated only in song.

By the time Jack had spouted off a little tune in what he claimed was authentic Orallofuckonian, with about every third word as fuck, John had started to smile. And when Jack described General Hammond’s reaction, complete with facial mimicry, to Tosh saying it to the aliens, John lost it completely and laughed so hard that he nearly spilled the rest of his coffee all over himself and had to put the mug on Jack’s desk while he recovered.

“I wish I’d been there,” he managed when he could breathe again.

“Yeah, that was a really good day,” Jack said. He was chuckling but the emphasis he put on that made John wonder about some of Torchwood’s other days.

“Excuse me,” Ianto said from the door, “I know you haven’t eaten yet Jack, and given the time difference I thought Colonel Sheppard might be hungry as well, so I took the liberty of ordering some pizza and it has just arrived.”

John was getting hungry again and pizza sounded good. “Thanks,” he said and Jack echoed him.

“Also, the others have gone home for the night, and I was just about to head out myself, unless there is anything else you need?”

“No, that’s fine Ianto,” Jack said and Ianto smiled at him, nodded to John and walked off.

John felt a bit more wary about things now that he was going to be alone with Jack in the base. Maybe he should go, thank Jack for the information and see about coming back tomorrow or something before Jack went any further than flirting, but Jack bounced out of his chair before John could say anything.

“Come on, let’s go find the food. We can eat downstairs on the couch; it’s more comfortable than these chairs.”

On the other hand, John was hungry and there was pizza, and he was enjoying talking to Jack. It wasn’t like John couldn’t say no anyway, if Jack made a move, and it wasn’t like he’d pounced on John as soon as Ianto had gone. He didn’t think the guiding hand on the small of his back as Jack steered him over to a little couch was strictly necessary, but it wasn’t like that counted as a move so John didn’t really mind.

“Back in a minute,” Jack said as John sat down and shrugged out of his jacket. He came back shortly carrying some pizza boxes and two glasses of water and settled down on John’s right.

They ate quietly for a few minutes and then Jack said, “So what’s Atlantis like? I always thought she must be beautiful.”

“She is,” John said, nodding. It was funny, he’d always thought of Atlantis as female in his head but no-one else had ever referred to her that way. “All these shining towers, and from above she looks like a snowflake almost,” he said, waving his hands to try and indicate the shapes.

“That’s right, you’re a pilot aren’t you? Do you fly those little ringhoppers? I always figured they’d be a sweet ride,” Jack said. “Though since I don’t have the gene, the only chance I’d have would be as a passenger.”

“We call them puddlejumpers actually, and they’re amazing” John said with a smile at the name Jack had given them, but there was something a bit wistful in Jack’s tone so he went on, “Are you a pilot too?”

“I have been,” Jack said. “A long time ago. I don’t really have the time for it now.”

Jack smiled at him, but John thought his eyes weren’t and being taken away from flying had always been something John had dreaded, so he started talking about other things that needed the gene to work and ended up telling Jack about the personal shield and getting to shoot a gleeful Rodney and throw him off a balcony, because that was still one of John’s favourite memories. It made Jack smile properly too when John mimicked Rodney singing “invulnerable” at Elizabeth.

They traded stories pretty much evenly after that while the pizza disappeared. John stuck to the light amusing ones, and he thought Jack was doing the same thing. When he had told the story about Peter Grodin losing a bet with Rodney and having to sing the ruder Monty Python songs over the Atlantis-wide comms, John had ended up thinking about what happened to Peter later and hadn’t been able to help going a little quiet, but Jack had looked at him like he knew exactly what John was thinking. He hadn’t asked what happened, or said anything, he just understood and took up the slack, starting to tell John about Owen losing an argument with an unexpected goat in a field one night.

After a few more swapped tales they were both laughing again and John realised he was paying a lot of attention to the shifts of Jack’s leg against his, the way he gestured with his hands and the way his eyes lit up when he laughed. John shouldn’t have been surprised that he was attracted to Jack because he’d found guys attractive before, but he’d blotted that side out as much as he could when he’d joined the Air Force and never acted on it so it was kind of a surprise to have it come up now. Okay, maybe not so surprising because he bet most people would find Jack sexy with the movie-star looks and the way he acted, but John liked him too. Jack was cool (he had a pet pterodactyl) and he was funny, smart and perceptive, and he obviously liked John as well.

Jack was still flirting, throwing in a completely outrageous story every so often and leaning in all attentively during John’s turns. John wondered if he should flirt back and then wondered if maybe he already was, because a lot of the time people thought he was when he hadn’t realised. Though probably if he was then Jack would already have made a move – it was clear Jack knew exactly what he was doing here even if John didn’t – but Jack was still just watching John. It was odd how that had never felt sleazy, but even from the start, John had just felt warm under Jack’s gaze even though he hadn’t known how to handle it.

“I’d better clean these up or Ianto will frown at me,” Jack finally said, looking at the pizza boxes.

“Sounds like a terrible fate.”

“Don’t mock until you’ve experienced the frown,” Jack threw back over his shoulder as he took the boxes off somewhere else, and John had a moment alone to think.

Should he do this? Okay, never mind should, he knew he was going to, how was he going to do this? When he thought about it, John knew he had been flirting back at Jack towards the end there, and he’d have thought Jack would have taken that as a green light, but maybe he didn’t want to push. The fact that John hadn’t run away or completely freaked out at the flirting had probably given it away that he wasn’t entirely straight, but he hadn’t exactly been acting as though he was totally comfortable either. He’d been more relaxed once they’d started eating and talking properly, but he’d still tensed up every so often from uncertainty.

John deliberately let himself shift into his normal sprawled-out posture, hiked his right arm up along the top of the couch and tried not to think about the nerves fluttering in his stomach as he waited for Jack to come back and wondered if he’d get the gesture was an invitation or if John would have to be more obvious.

He needn’t have worried, because Jack got it straight away. John could tell from the pleased look in his eyes and the grin when he walked, prowled back towards the couch. And if John thought Jack had been blatant about eyeing him up before, the once-over he got now showed he had no idea what blatant was. Jack’s eyes seemed to burn right through John’s clothes and they moved over him so slowly, lingering on his throat, his chest, his crotch between his spread legs… by the time Jack lifted his eyes to meet John’s again, John was breathing faster and his face was red but he met Jack’s eyes and saw his smile go gentler with knowledge.

Instead of sitting back down next to John, Jack simply walked round the low coffee table and sank down so he was kneeling on the couch straddling John’s legs. “Hi,” he said brightly as he slid a hand round the back of John’s neck and a second later he was kissing John slowly and surely.

It was good, really good because Jack really knew how to kiss, but there was also the heavier weight over John than he was used to, large hands on his neck and wrapped around his shoulder, solid muscle under John’s tentatively wandering hands. All that felt good too, but it was weird and different and John pushed up, trying to take control of the kiss instead. Jack didn’t let him though, so it turned into a tussle of lips and tongues until Jack captured John’s tongue and sucked on it hard and John moaned in the back of his throat with want.

“John, you’re on vacation, right?” Jack said, breaking away and pinning John to the couch with a hand when John tried to follow his mouth.

“What?” John said blinking. “Uh, yeah, vacation.”

“So relax and enjoy it,” Jack said and dove back in, this time stroking his hands down John’s chest over his black t-shirt and sliding forward so John could feel him hard against his own erection, and John gasped, wrapped his hands around Jack’s hips and just went with it, parting his lips to let Jack back in and do what he wanted.

What he apparently wanted was to drive John insane, he decided hazily a little later. He’d kissed John over and over, just about every way John could think of, going from soft and sweet to teasing to practically fucking John’s mouth with his tongue with no pattern he could find, until John’s lips were swollen and sensitive and the lightest lick had made him shiver. And now Jack had John’s head tipped back against the couch and was doing the same to his neck and ears, like he’d known they were one of John’s major hotspots. Hell, he certainly knew now, because every sucking kiss, every scrape of Jack’s teeth or lick, or the random harder bites, had John squirming and moaning beneath him, trying to arch up for more. John could feel the roughness of Jack’s stubble rubbing over his skin and he knew that and the love-bites would be leaving marks, but it felt so good all he cared about was trying to push his cock up against Jack’s for some much needed friction and Jack’s thighs were holding his down so he couldn’t.

His hands were roaming restlessly over Jack’s back and he used them to pull Jack closer and get some better pressure at least. Jack’s chuckle against his throat made him shiver again and Jack slid one of his hands out of John’s hair and started teasing over his chest and stomach right as he bit down on a particularly sensitive spot and John panted desperately right on the edge before he made himself pull Jack’s head away.

“Hey,” Jack complained.

“Give me a minute or I’m going to come in my pants,” John said, totally breathless.

“Really?” Jack said looking wicked. He teased at a newly-tender spot near John’s ear with his thumbnail and John shuddered and bit his lip, only just holding back. “Hmm, very nice.”

“It’s kind of been a while,” John explained when he had enough control to talk again. True enough, it had, but John had a feeling he could have gotten laid five minutes before meeting Jack and Jack would still have been able to take him apart like this.

“We should probably change venues anyway,” Jack said and he eased onto his feet and pulled John up after him. “Come on,” he said and led John through the base. It took a while, because Jack stopped every couple of feet to kiss him and run his hands over John’s sides, his hips and ass and for John to rock their hips together so that they both groaned, but eventually they ended up somewhere past the workstations at a hatch in the floor with a ladder reaching down.

John followed Jack down and as he stepped off the last rung, Jack moved in behind him, pulling John back against him and mouthing along the back of John’s neck. John sighed and pressed back, shivering at feeling Jack hard against his ass and then he groaned and his hips jerked helplessly as Jack finally, finally moved a hand down to rub John’s cock through his jeans. “Oh God.”

“Bed,” Jack suggested, and John nodded rapidly.

Instead of moving away, Jack turned John around and John gasped as Jack dropped to his knees. Jack gave him a knowing grin, but just started removing John’s boots and John sighed in disappointment. When he was barefoot, Jack wrapped his arms around John’s hips and rubbed his cheek against John’s erection like a big cat and John had to lean back against the ladder as his knees went weak

Jack chuckled quietly and nuzzled him again before standing and tugging John over towards a bed. He pulled John’s t-shirt off, kissed him quick and hard and stepped back, dropping his braces and undoing his shirt.

John took a shaky breath as he watched Jack undress then he started to undo his own fly. He nearly lost his nerve as he realised Jack had stopped to watch him, eyes very intent on John’s hands, but the way Jack licked his lips as John slowly drew the zipper down was very hot and he kept going, shoving jeans and boxers off both at once and stepping out of them to stand there naked.

“Gorgeous,” Jack said quietly, and John flushed and moved in for a kiss as a distraction because it was a little much to have Jack look at him like that. And it was very distracting. Bare skin pressed all down John’s torso, strong and solid, and heat seemed to be coming off Jack in waves. John shivered at the feel of Jack’s pants against his skin and he was too busy stroking his hands over Jack’s back and enjoying the slick, needy kiss to miss the press of breasts against his chest.

It got even more distracting when Jack managed to shove his own trousers down and pressed closer with his hips so that their cocks slid together, and John panted into Jack’s mouth at how good that felt, so new and amazing.

Somehow Jack managed to pull John down onto the bed without ever breaking off the kiss, and he hitched one leg up over John’s hip and wriggled impossibly closer, moaning happily. John pulled away from his mouth and started teasing Jack’s throat in turn, figuring that if he’d spent that much time on John’s he’d probably like it too. That got him a husky “oh yeah,” and John let his hands roam down Jack’s back to squeeze the perfect ass that he’d tried so hard not to notice earlier. Jack groaned loudly in his ear and immediately did the same thing to John and John sucked in a startled breath. He’d always liked that, but Jack’s hands were so much larger than he was used to. It felt so good he had to kiss Jack again, pushing his hips back into Jack’s hands, and it turned frantic pretty quickly with both of them squeezing and stroking as their hips thrust together.

John was starting to think that he was going to come from it any minute when Jack pulled back suddenly and slid his hands round to hold John’s hips still.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” John gasped, and let his fingers drift lightly into the cleft of Jack’s ass to try and get him moving again.

Jack’s eyes went unfocused for a minute and he licked his lips, but then he rolled John underneath him and grabbed his hands. “You can fuck me another time,” he said and John went a little unfocused himself at the idea. “But right now I want to swallow your cock and suck you dry,” Jack went on in a matter-of-fact tone that made John go hot all over. “Any objections?” Jack added with a teasing smile and John just shook his head, too turned on to talk.

Jack didn’t suck him right away of course. John was starting to realise that would have been way too easy for him. First Jack sat up straddling John’s hips so that his cock slid tormentingly against Jack’s ass but left him no leverage to move, and then he started leisurely exploring John’s chest and stomach, shifting his hips just enough to rub them together a little and make John shiver. After that he leaned down and went after John’s throat with his mouth again, only this time his fingers were pulling and pinching John’s nipples into aching points at the same time and John writhed and cursed and moaned, clutching at any part of Jack he could reach.

When Jack finally eased off to let him breathe again, John turned the tables by reaching down and fisting Jack’s cock. Jack’s head fell back as he groaned and thrust into John’s hand, and it felt like touching himself but different, hot and hard in John’s hand and his heart raced at watching Jack enjoy it so openly. Jack let him explore for another minute, sliding his other hand to cup Jack’s balls, then he slid out of reach down John’s legs and gave him a sly grin. “Naughty,” he said.

“Oh, come on. I want to touch you,” John protested.

“And you’ll get your turn to play,” Jack promised, “after I’ve made you come. But this is my turn and you’re not going to distract me,” he said and swooped down to bury his mouth in John’s chest and John gave up and decided to let Jack do whatever. It wasn’t like it didn’t feel amazing after all, especially when Jack nibbled and sucked on John’s already sensitive nipples so that John whimpered and arched.

Jack licked and bit his way down John’s body until he was lying between John’s legs, but he bypassed John’s aching cock in favour of sucking love-bites onto his hip-bones and nuzzling his inner thighs. John had just decided that Jack was in fact evil and trying to kill John by frustration instead of a conventional weapon when Jack’s hot mouth moved up onto his balls and John forgot thinking in lieu of panting and spreading his legs mindlessly to get more. At the same time, Jack pressed wet fingers in behind John’s balls and slid them back to slide lightly over his hole and John said, “Uh,” and shook. Jack didn’t press in, just kept his fingers rubbing lightly in an unhurried caress that lit up every nerve there while his mouth did unimaginably good things to John’s balls and John pressed his head back into the mattress to try and stop it blowing off and grabbed onto the sheets hard.

John had a wet patch on his stomach from his steadily-leaking erection and he was seriously considering begging when he felt a soft touch on the underside of his cock and looked down to see Jack licking slowly up to the head. Jack pulled back a little way and held John’s eyes. “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you leaning on that pillar earlier,” he murmured and his mouth closed hot and wet and amazing over the head of John’s cock and slid all the way down and John cried out as he curled up off the bed.

As Jack pulled back up, sucking all the way, his fingers slid a little way inside John and John tried to move his hips in two directions at once. He was right on the edge, so close, and Jack swallowed him down again, tight and slick, and rubbed John deep inside and John said, “Oh, uh, uhn,” and came at last, in Jack’s mouth, around his fingers, feeling it burn right through him.

Jack didn’t pull away straight away as John collapsed back, just kept teasing softly until John shuddered and tugged his head away, too sensitive to take it. When he opened his eyes again, Jack had his head pillowed on his arms across John’s chest and was grinning cheerfully at him, a flush high on his cheekbones.

John swallowed and cleared his throat. “What?” he managed huskily.

“Nothing,” Jack shrugged. “Just enjoying the view.”

“Huh?”

“You’re all blissed-out and debauched. It suits you,” Jack said and John stroked his hands lazily along Jack’s shoulders and smiled as Jack pushed up into the caress.

“I feel pretty blissed-out,” he said. Not to mention boneless and more relaxed than he’d been in months. “Isn’t it your turn to get debauched now?”

“I hope so,” Jack said breathlessly with a chuckle.

“What would you like?” John asked. He wanted to do something to make Jack feel this good, but he’d never given a blowjob and there was no way his amateur attempt could compare with what Jack had just done. He’d give whatever Jack suggested his best shot though, because he really wanted to make Jack come now.

“I don’t think it’s going to take much,” Jack said, wriggling up John’s body to kiss him again. “You’ve got me all hot and bothered here,” he said and John could feel it was true from the way Jack rocked against him almost unconsciously.

“Here,” John said, rolling them onto their sides and kissing Jack, stroking one hand down his chest and playing with a hard little nipple on the way, and Jack kissed back greedily and ground his hips into John’s. John reached down and wrapped a hand round Jack’s cock, wondering again at how it felt so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He got a moan for that and he shifted again so that he was sitting over Jack’s legs and started playing with Jack’s balls with his other hand, rolling and squeezing as he jerked him off.

“Oh yeah, just like that,” Jack said and John watched his eyes close as he tipped his head back in abandon and his hips started to flex in time. It was hot, seeing Jack lose himself in the pleasure, feeling soft tender skin under John’s fingers and the sticky wetness when he teased the head of Jack’s cock. John could do this all day, but Jack was biting his lip and frowning, and he covered John’s hand with his and made John move faster. John figured he was getting close so he pressed two fingers in hard behind Jack’s balls and leaned down quickly before he could overthink it, getting his mouth over Jack’s cockhead and licking. Jack gave a shout of surprise and then he pulled John’s head away as his hips bucked and he came with a deep groan, the first spurt of semen splashing on John’s mouth because he was still so close and the rest falling on Jack’s stomach as John sat up.

It hadn’t tasted bad when John had had his mouth on Jack, just unusual, and John licked his lips thoughtfully, tasting Jack’s come again. He heard Jack make a soft noise and flushed as he realised that Jack’s eyes were open and he was watching John in fascination.

Jack sat up and slid an arm around him so they were face-to-face. “You missed a spot,” he murmured, swiping his thumb along John’s jaw. He rested it against John’s lips and John breathed in sex and Jack and he parted his lips and let Jack slide it into his mouth, sucking it clean and seeing Jack’s eyes go dark all over again as he watched.

They both shivered when Jack pulled his thumb back out and John crowded closer, feeling their cocks brush together softly. “Okay, that’s going on my list of sexiest moments ever,” Jack said and John closed his eyes, stifling an embarrassed laugh. “Seriously. If I hadn’t just come I’d be as hard as a rock right now.”

John licked his lips again, thinking about that, and Jack made a huffing noise and kissed him softly and slowly. “Stop that,” he said when he pulled back, “it’s not fair.”

John grinned at him, but there was no way he could get it up either no matter what he thought of, so he moved off to sit on the bed. “Shower?” he asked.

“And then sleep, right,” Jack agreed and took John’s hand to lead him to the bathroom.

They cleaned up quickly, with John yawning increasingly frequently, and then went back into the bedroom section. Jack’s rooms felt like being on the Daedalus in some ways to John, though he wasn’t quite sure where the impression came from. “Do you live down here?” he asked sleepily as he looked around.

“Yeah,” Jack said, hugging him from behind.

“No windows,” John said realising that was part of the spaceship-impression he was getting.

“I’m not down here much,” Jack said and he tugged John over to the bed before getting in it. John hesitated and Jack cocked his head at him. “Hey. Stay,” he said and John shrugged internally and slid under the covers too. He switched off the light and they settled in.

The bed was really too small for two guys to share like this, but they managed to find a comfy position somehow and John didn’t want to go back to his big, empty hotel bed anyway.

He sighed once in the total darkness, tugged Jack’s arm into a better place, and fell asleep.

~

An alarm woke John, and he felt Jack shift beside him before a light went on and John groaned protestingly and burrowed into Jack’s chest.

“Morning,” Jack said, sounding amused, and he wiggled down and kissed John. John responded sleepily at first until Jack bit his lower lip sharply and sucked on it, and John woke up fast, feeling himself start to get hard.

He could feel Jack was already there, and Jack rolled them so he was on top and started rocking slowly while they kissed. It didn’t stay slow for long as every shift of their bodies resulted in a hot spike of pleasure, and pretty soon they were thrusting desperately together, John’s hands clamped on Jack’s ass to pull him closer and tighter and then the pressure on his cock was just right and he gasped something incoherent and came. Jack rocked hard a few more times, moving John and the bed before he came as well, throwing his head back so the tendons stood out on his neck and groaning.

He collapsed down onto John afterwards and John wrapped his arms round him.

“That was meant to be slow morning sex,” Jack said after a minute and John chuckled.

“Way to stick to the plan, there, Captain.”

“It’s entirely your fault for being so sexy,” Jack informed him and John squirmed because he had no idea what to say to that. “So I was thinking maybe I’ve been wasting my time trying to headhunt the SGC scientists,” Jack said thoughtfully after a minute, sliding off to one side and petting John’s chest. “Maybe I should spread the net a little wider, look at other disciplines.”

“General O’Neill says you’re not allowed to steal me either,” John told him facetiously.

“Spoilsport,” Jack pouted. “Oh well. If you worked here, I’d just want to stay in bed with you all the time and then the world would end because I was too busy having amazing sex, so it’s probably just as well.”

John just shook his head, deciding that the best thing to do with Jack’s comments was to just ignore them, so he got out of the bed and went for another shower. He also ignored Jack’s ‘nice view’ remark as he walked away, though he did go a little warm.

Jack joined him under the water after a minute. “How long before you need to be back in Colorado?” he asked.

“About a week,” John said.

“Are you going to stick around?” Jack asked hopefully. “You could help us, see what we do. I mean, you don’t have to, I know you’re on holiday. But it could be fun. We never know what’s going to turn up round here, and when it’s quiet I’m sure we can find something to occupy us,” he added with a wink.

John thought for a minute, but he was curious about Torchwood and what else was he going to do with his vacation? Stupidly hot sex with Jack and interesting stuff to do sounded like a good combination. “Yeah, okay,” he said, and Jack grinned happily and rewarded him with a long intense kiss that left John a little lightheaded.

Yeah. This was going to be good.

~

Five days later, John packed the last thing in his bag and looked around Jack’s room for anything he’d missed. He’d kept his hotel room for appearances, but he’d barely set foot in it, spending most of his time in the Hub with Jack.

It had been a bit embarrassing the first morning to go back into the main section and find all the rest of the team already there, but none of them had batted an eyelid at John’s presence. They’d been a bit more wary when Jack had said that John would be helping out but that first day he’d helped catch a whole pack of Weevils, taking out three all by himself (they were a cakewalk after the Wraith) and after that no-one seemed bothered.

John had also spent a lot of time with Tosh talking about Atlantis and the Ancients. He thought she would have fitted in well there but he was glad Rodney hadn’t decided to work for Torchwood.

On the advice of Ianto, John had also hired a very fast car and dragged Jack out of the Hub, out into the countryside and then climbed up some really large hills. The view at the top was spectacular and Jack had looked around, unusually quiet for a long time, before smiling and kissing John breathless, so John figured it for a success.

The rest of the time he’d been in Jack’s bed getting tutored in Gay Sex 101, and a better use for a holiday John couldn’t think of. They’d done just about everything John had ever heard of, and Jack had shown him several things he hadn’t and made good on his promise that John could fuck him later. Many times over, actually. The only thing they hadn’t done was fuck with John on the bottom, because Jack had said they’d need more time for him to really be ready and first times shouldn’t be rushed. Though that hadn’t stopped Jack using fingers and toys and his tongue in John’s ass until he was a whimpering, wrecked mess and coming so hard they probably felt it in Pegasus, so John hadn’t argued too hard.

Jack came in now, and wrapped John up in a hug. That had been harder for John to get used to than the sex in a way, the way Jack was so affectionate, but in the end he’d got to like it even if he didn’t initiate it himself.

“Ready to go?” Jack asked.

“I guess.”

“You’re welcome back any time, you know,” Jack said. He smiled wickedly and went on, “and you can bring Rodney too, once you’ve seduced him with your newfound skills.”

John pulled away in surprise and blinked at him. Seduce Rodney? “What? Rodney? I don’t… why would you think…?”

Jack just laughed at him and shook his head. “John, you haven’t stopped talking about him all week.”

“So? He’s my best friend, of course I talk about him.”

“Best friends don’t inspire the look you have when you do,” Jack pointed out. “Plus you said his name when I was rimming you the other day,” he said with a smirk and John felt his face go red.

“Crap, I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” he blurted out. “I mean, I wasn’t using you or anything.” And double crap, he thought about Rodney during sex? Was Jack right that he was attracted to him? John thought hard, picturing Rodney and his mind went ‘broad shoulders, good strong hands, fantastic ass,’ and he remembered how Rodney smiling for real made John feel warm and he buried his head in his hands and moaned.

Oh God. He was attracted to Rodney and he’d never noticed before. He was just useless at this stuff.

“Hey, hey,” Jack said soothingly, hugging John again. “Relax. I like you a lot and I’ve enjoyed the hell out of everything we’ve done together. There’s no harm in us having fun is there?”

“Yeah okay,” John said feeling better that Jack wasn’t upset about it. “You could have clued me in earlier though,” he complained and felt Jack shake as he laughed again.

“Well, it took me a few days to work out you didn’t know. If I thought you’d work it out, I wouldn’t have said anything but I figured if you were going to have any chance of getting the guy at all I’d better mention it. You know, in case you were completely useless at this kind of thing,” Jack mocked and John smacked the back of his head for it. “Ow,” Jack said without letting go, “So you’re going to seduce him now, right?” he pushed and John bit his lip and rested his head on Jack’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Rodney’s always talking about women, he’s straight,” he said and glared as Jack laughed so hard he had to release John and sit on the bed.

“Okay, first of all,” Jack said, wiping his eyes, “there are very few people so straight they’d turn down a guy as pretty as you, and second of all, Rodney McKay is not straight in any case.”

John had been about to object to being called pretty, but he got distracted by the utter conviction Jack had that Rodney wasn’t straight. “Oh my God, did you have sex with Rodney?” he demanded.

“No,” Jack drawled, “All I needed to do was meet the guy, and he is not only interested in women. Believe me, I can tell.”

Okay, that was probably true. “But that doesn’t mean he’s interested in me,” John pointed out. “He’s never acted like he was.”

“You think?” Jack said, laughing again. “Be honest, John. Would you have even known I wanted you if I hadn’t whacked you over the head with it?” and John had to look sheepish at that.

“Yeah, okay, maybe you’re right,” he said, feeling a bit hopeful. “Why are you so keen on me seducing him anyway?”

“Well, there’s the mental images for a start,” Jack said with a little shrug, “But like I said, I like you and I think you could be happy with him,” Jack finished more seriously. “So think about it, okay?”

“Yes, all right,” John said. He’d definitely try to see if Rodney was interested at least, because now that he was thinking about it, they probably would be good together. It would certainly never be boring, anyway.

“And bring him on your next holiday for a nice little threesome,” Jack said, waggling his eyebrows and John had to laugh.

“You are completely incorrigible,” he said. Jack just grinned and kissed him. It was gentle and lasted a long time, but eventually John pulled away and picked up his bag.

“Captain Harkness,” he said with a nod.

“Colonel Sheppard,” Jack smiled. “Take care of yourself.”

“You too,” John said, and left.

~

Finally back in Atlantis, John dumped his bag in his room and headed back out again. It was lunchtime so he had a pretty good idea where Rodney would be, and after thinking over everything on the journey home, John really wanted to see him.

Sure enough, Rodney was in the mess hall eating busily. John was watching carefully as he walked over with his own tray, so he saw the way Rodney’s eyes lit up when he saw John and they way they quickly skimmed over his body. Rodney was surprisingly good though, and controlled his expression fast enough that John would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking.

Huh. It looked like Jack was right.

“Rodney,” he said, sitting down opposite him.

“Colonel,” Rodney said and launched into a rant about all the incompetent and useless things his team had done while John was away, and John settled in, smiling at the familiarity.

He ate while he listened, making sure to lick his muffin crumbs off his fingers nice and slowly and he smiled with satisfaction as Rodney watched him do it with a glazed look and Rodney’s words stuttered to a halt.

Rodney shook himself out of it and rallied with, “So what did you do on your summer vacation then, Colonel?”

John only just managed to restrain himself from saying ‘Captain Jack Harkness’ in response, but he couldn’t stop the wild grin escaping and Rodney blinked at him suspiciously. “Oh you know. Had some fun. Met some people. But mostly I learned a lot,” John said nonchalantly. He was definitely going for this now.

“What, you went to summer school?” Rodney scoffed.

“You could say that,” John said agreeably.

“To learn what?”

“Oh, just… stuff,” John drawled, enjoying Rodney’s frustration. “I had a good teacher though. Think you might know him.”

“What? Who? What are you talking about?” Rodney said, looking completely confused.

“Guy name of Jack Harkness,” John said, timing it just right so that Rodney inhaled coffee and spluttered helplessly.

“Jack Harkness?” he finally managed faintly. “Captain Jack Harkness?” and John nodded smirking. “Captain Jack Harkness taught you… stuff,” Rodney said, going gradually pink and staring at John’s mouth again as John rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, and John just knew he was picturing it.

“Uh huh,” he said, leaning towards Rodney and holding his eyes. “If you come by later, I’ll show you some.”

“You? Me? Really?” Rodney squeaked disbelievingly but wildly hopeful and John smiled very slowly, watching Rodney’s eyes dilate, and nodded.

Rodney squirmed in his seat, looking distracted and John grinned smugly, recognising the movement and knowing Rodney was trying to settle his erection more comfortably.

“Absolutely,” he breathed. He stood up and walked away, leaving Rodney staring after him and John breathed in alien sea-salt smell from the windows and thought about finally kissing Rodney later and smiled.

It was good to be home.